Upate

So I received an update about my friend. He has had his breathing tube removed, he was moved out of ICU into a regular room. He is talking, but needs a feeding tube for now to get his protein up. He is starting to get feeling back into his hands but not his legs yet.

Such a relief but it has brought some of us friends back together. Life seems to get into the way and we need to prevent that.

Thanks for the prayers. Especially Clare!!

Conversation

between me and Hubby:

Dominoes Sub Commercial

Me: Mmmmmmmm.....

Hubby: All 4 look like they have shit on them that I don't like..

Me: You mean vegetables?

Hubby: Yeah, that shit.


If i wasn't already on the floor, I would have been shortly

This sucks

My BFF from high school just posted that she has breast cancer. She is only 46. We graduated from high school together. I tried to call her but she is not home. Soooo, I called my mom and of course started to bawl. Poor thing she is out to dinner with family and ducked into the ladies room to talk to me.

This REALLY sucks.

If it is a "normal" ductal carcinoma, she will just have a lumpectomy and radiation. So, please my dearest friends keep her in your thoughts and send TONS of healing energy. You all have special gifts that may help. And I need you now, for her.

Oh, I'll be GREAT company tonight for my hubby. We are going out to dinner. Maybe another glass or two of wine....

I hate asking for help. Even if it is just something like this. There are so many bigger problems in the world, that my wants seem minuscule.

Please, please remember to get regular mammograms. Especially, if you have a family history like I do. I have been having them since I was in my 30's.

Love you guys

Random Thoughts

I am a member of a book club/poetry group and it got me thinking. Why have I chosen the artists/writers I have over the years? Having grown up in an environment such as mine-teachers-specifically English teacher, Microbiologist and Art teacher I can understand some of the choices I have made.

Classic such as Jane Austen, The Bronte Sisters, Edith Wharton, Monet, Georgia O'Keefe, Ansel Adams, Robert Frost.

But some of the choices I have made are unusual. Sylvia Path (in turn, worrying my mother), Diane Arbus, Frida Kahlo, Truman Capote, Anne Sexton, Van Gogh and Gauguin. Suicide, tragic deaths and lives.

As an artist myself, I was never really the tragic soul I thought I should be.

How do you satisfy the muse in your heart?

By many things. My Muse has returned. Away for along time. But now she's back. I read, I draw I write poetry. And I study the faeries and Goddesses. I read about Wicca nd Pagan practices to enhance my life. I read about living a simpler life and nurturing my soul. Yoga. Life. Love. Happiness. Well Being. Bloggin! These are some of the things my Muse is bringing to my life. My cup overflows.

OK, a few posts ago, I had some thinking to do on this, from Mich's blog:

On this Full Moon it is important to recognize the fundamental relationship between gratefulness and non-attachment. Use this Full Moon to look at what you cling to and your fear of letting it go. Do you spend most of your time grabbing and craving for more things; trying to fill your inner emptiness with a multitude of possessions? We come here with nothing and leave with nothing. Why then do we hold so tight to things that will not last? This is a great time to ask, "What can I freely give away? What can I share?"

I do. I spend. Why do I feel the need to get things that are not needed but I love. Why do I feel the need, for example, to buy every back issue of some magazine I like?If a book interests me in the slightest, I buy it. I probably have enough books to read for the next 5 years without having to buy another one. Why do I crave more things?!?!?!? THIS HAS TO STOP. Fo awhile we will be living on my paycheck only. No big deal except that I am trying to pay off a debt. Why do I feel like my life would be better if I was richer? Especially, when I really want to get everything paid off and be more self sufficient. Live off the land.

I have been like this since high school. I did finally move away from the "catching up with the Jones'" Thanks to the prior relationship, who had to have the best of everything at my expense,,, literally $$$, and that is my fault. I worked two jobs to make sure I could pay all the bills so we could have and have and have, the lifestyle he liked. I paid all the household bills while he spent him money on a BRAND new Harley, a BRAND new boat, a second home, BRAND new cars.

I am seeking guidance by posting this and venting. Thanks for listening.

Today

So, yesterday I worked from home. Storms. One.After.The.Other. Much flooding and dispair for many. We were very lucky.

I received a phone call from the movers on my answering machine at work yesterday. I tried all morning to get back with them. Finally, right before lunch I was able to get through to someone, who was able to connect me. I was able to leave a message for E who is coordinating our move.

We have also been approved for the are we want to live. A 3 bedroom 2 bath manufactured/mobile home. This will give ua an opportunity to save up for a better down payment and get to know the area. Not much more than the rent here, closer to work and the added benefit of a washer and dryer in the unit. Plus, it's more "house" like and a yard for Chloe. I go next month to check it all out. Staying with my cousin and her husband and son. We share the same birthday just 4 years apart.

I will also be able to see a friend of mine from high school. And have had the pleasure of reconnecting with my college room mate.

We already have plans for company in December too! Our first! My friend tha I helped move to Arizona 10 years ago will be going to San Atnonio with her boyfriend. They will come by for a visit. She is the kind of friend that, no matter how long it has been since you talked, you pickup right where you left off, like it was yesterday.

Long winded yes. It has been a few days since I have really put down words.

Having breakfast tomorrow with the gang. More on that tomorrow.

In Austin

Love it! I was up for 20 hours yesterday. Whee!
Tired.
Stomach Ache
BORED!!!

PLEASE E-MAIL ME

Where have I been

Here but in a glitch. I don't know what is wrong with me. I see to start things and not finish them. Example, Gayla Maxwell's course. I am sooo far behind. I am currently on Day 3 and I am stuck. Craft projects ready to go, not started. I feel stuck for lack of a better word.

I just posted to Rainbow Dreams. It was a good one for me today. Maybe that will help. Thank you Mich for posting to my blog and giving me the nudge I needed. I have been reading, reading, reading blogs but not posting on my own.

And I worry. About everything. Money mostly. I am so tired of being in debt. I feel like all I ever do is pay. I need to get over this instant gratification thing. I have enough books and crafts to keep me going for awhile but I want more. I can't figure out why.

And I am sure part of of my *stuckness* is our up and coming move to Austin Texas. We are very excited about it. But again I worry. I am already a state away from a majority of my family. But I have a cousin in Austin (same birthday too!) and my mom and stepdad winter in Texas.

But I can't move forward yet. I need to wait for the final approval and then the relocation company to call. Then I need to find us a place to live. Most rentals will not talk about places until a month before hand. Our move date is October 1st. Rent or buy? How do I buy long distance? Will both of us need to be there for the closing? I am reimbursed for the trip down but hubby is a temp employee. So that would be a week of no pay.

So I think we should rent for a year, get settled and find an area we love. Save then buy.

I should get out my:
Chakra Balancing Kit: A Guide to Healing and Awakening Your Energy Body by Anodea Judith
maybe this will help. I started it and go figure, stopped. Mich has the same book.

UGH! I come home and sit and stare at the TV. Motionless. And sleep.